12th and Final Play of Christmas (thank God)

 

Fa-La-La

Empty living room. “Deck the Halls” plays. As we reach the first “fa-la-la”, SHANI, MIKE, JACK, and ALEX all pop up from behind the couch and sing horribly.

FAMILY
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Empty kitchen. Family pops out over the counters.

FAMILY
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Empty master bedroom. Family pops out from behind the bed.

FAMILY
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Empty dining room. Family pops out from behind the doorway.

FAMILY
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

 

END SCENE. END OF PROJECT.

 

 

12 Plays of Christmas (11 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

 

PEPPER

MIKE, SHANI, ALEX, JACK are eating soup at the dinner table.

MIKE
(picking up the new holiday pepper shaker)
These things are USELESS.

ALEX
They are not. I like them.

MIKE
They don’t give you pepper.

JACK
Yes they do.

MIKE
OK, let’s race. Go.

Jack starts to pepper his soup. Mike gets up, goes to the kitchen, gets a container of pepper, returns and peppers his soup. He does this before Jack is done peppering his own soup.

MIKE
Useless! HA!

SHANI
(she has never looked up from her meal the entire time)
You’re ridiculous.

Alex takes Mike’s roll and spikes it in Mike’s soup.

ALEX
Bad Daddy!

 

END SCENE

12 Plays of Christmas (7 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

Cropduster

MIKE sits on the couch. SHANI enters and keeps moving.

SHANI
I had the craziest day. Did you get my text?
I needed to redo the lists from admissions yet again…

She is out of the room and still talking. 

NEW LOCATION

JACK is playing Xbox in the basement. SHANI enters and keeps moving.

SHANI
Jack, I need you to try on your wrestling shoes today.
If they don’t fit we need to go to Dicks this weekend and make sure…

She is out of the room and still talking. 

NEW LOCATION

ALEX is doing homework in the kitchen. SHANI enters and keeps moving.

SHANI
Alex, did you get that form signed today? Oh, and you have carpool pickup
at 5:30, so you’re going to need to eat. Oh, and your towel is…

She is out of the room and still talking. 

 

END SCENE.

 

 

The 12 Plays of Christmas (5 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

Truth Machine

ALEX speaks to the audience.

ALEX
Today, I am the Truth Machine. After you say something,
you look at me and say what you really wanted to say.

MIKE and SHANI are in bed. MIKE turns out his light to go to sleep.

SHANI
Is the front door locked?

MIKE
Yes.

SHANI
Are you sure?

MIKE
I specifically remember locking it.

MIKE rolls over and is face-to-face with ALEX.

MIKE
I have no clue if the door is locked. I’m making that up so she leaves me alone and lets me go to sleep.

New location: Jack’s bedroom. JACK is in bed.

JACK (yelling)
Dad? I have a pain right near my shoulder blade.

MIKE (offstage)
Go to bed!

JACK (yelling)
It really hurts!

MIKE (offstage)
Why is the only time you need medical attention is when it’s bedtime?

JACK rolls over. He is face-to-face with ALEX.

JACK
It does kind of hurt, but really I just don’t want to go to bed quite yet.
(Pause)
Do you think he’ll come up?

ALEX
No.

JACK
(turns and closes his eyes)
Good night, Truth Machine.

 

END SCENE

 

 

The 12 Plays of Christmas (4 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

 

Smell?

ALEX and MIKE are on the couch watching The Flash. They are both snuggled together and transfixed.

SHANI enters through the front door.

SHANI
I’m home! Do you guys smell a food smell in here?

MIKE AND ALEX (not looking up)
No.

SHANI crosses and exits for the kitchen. Pause a beat. She returns.

SHANI
I just went to the grocery store yesterday. Did you guys eat all the grapes?

MIKE AND ALEX (not looking up)
Yes.

Pause another beat as she stares at them. They stay fixed on the screen. SHANI leaves.

 

END SCENE.

The 12 Plays of Christmas (3 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

 

Drink?

MIKE and SHANI sit on the couch. Both are on their phones.

MIKE
Hey, would you…

SHANI
Hang on.

Shani needs to finish what she’s doing on her phone. Mike nods and goes back to his phone.

SHANI
Oh, I forgot…

MIKE
Just one sec.

Now Mike is finishing something on his phone. Shani nods and goes back to her phone.

SHANI
What do you think about a glass of wine?

MIKE
That sounds good.

Mike looks up at her. She is still on her phone. He stares at her and waits. She stares up at him, then goes back to her phone.

MIKE
Ok…

He gets up.

MIKE
Red or white?

SHANI
Red please.

 

END SCENE.

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The 12 Plays of Christmas (1 of 12)

 

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site (probably this weekend).

 

BRUSHED

Morning. MIKE and SHANI are in the kitchen. JACK enters.

NARRATOR (played by Alex)
It is morning. Mike and Shani are eating breakfast. Jack enters.

MIKE
Morning, bubba.

SHANI
Hi, sweetie. Teeth brushed?

JACK
I did it.

NARRATOR
It is a lie. Shani knows it. Mike knows it. Jack knows it. We freeze and hear their thoughts.

Stage goes dark. Spotlight appears on each individual as they reveal their thoughts.

SHANI
My perfect child is ruining his teeth. All that money on braces and he’s going to have colored squares.

JACK
Don’t they understand that I need to figure out the Yankees 2027 lineup so I can find out if I’m batting 1st or 2nd! I’ve been poring over stats for days trying to lock this down.

Stage goes back to regular kitchen lighting.

NARRATOR
We go back to the scene at hand. Jack goes to the refrigerator. Shani reaches out to grab him.

SHANI
Come here, Jack Nuckols. I need a hug.

NARRATOR
It is a lie. Shani knows it. Mike knows it. Jack knows it. The two struggle in an awkward hug.

SHANI
I’m trying to hug you.

JACK
You’re trying to smell my breath.

SHANI
No. No I’m not.

JACK
You are!

SHANI
I don’t think you brushed your teeth.

JACK
Get off me!

NARRATOR
We freeze and hear Mike’s thoughts.

Stage goes dark. Spotlight appears on MIKE.

MIKE
If I had received the proper training when I was a boy, I really believe that today I would be a ninja.

 

END SCENE.

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