About 2 weeks ago, Jack shared a list he was making titled: Ways to Die. Here are some of his favorites:
- Jump into a pool full of sharks
- Get steamrollered by a hippo
- Tie yourself to the front of a bulldozer
He thought the list was a riot. He even did some brainstorming with Alex to come up with some new ones.
Needless to say, Shani and I discussed this list at length. We took our typical roles. Shani was overly worried and I was overly calm.
“Why is he doing this?” Shani fretted.
“He seems to think it’s funny. I think it’s fine.”
“Maybe he needs to talk to somebody.”
No matter the issue, Shani and I take these opposing stances.
“I heard a drip. I think we need a new roof.”
“It’s just rain. The roof is fine.”
“This chicken is green. I’m throwing it out.”
“Just cut around the edges. I’m sure it’s OK.”
The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. But then again, I do get the advantage of living in a state where everything is just peachy, where Shani has more weight on her shoulders. Hmm…I’m just realizing that it’s nice to have married someone who does all my worrying for me. I should buy her some earrings or something to say thanks.
But back to Jack’s list. It was cause for some concern. It is odd to have a 9-year-old crafting a list of ways to die, right? I mean, why would he even think to do that?
Then the other night at bed time, the boys had my phone. I could hear some corny music and they were giggling. I wandered into the bedroom.
“What are you watching?”
With big smiles, they restarted the video. Odd blob characters pop up on the screen and begin to sing:
Dumb ways to die.
So many dumb ways to die.
They then go into all kinds of zany ways for the blobs to die. Dress like a moose in hunting season. Eat a tube of superglue. Poke a bear with a stick. There were dozens of these videos. The boys said that all of their friends were watching them and coming up with their own lists.
“AHA!” I yelled. Then proceeded to sit down with the boys and watch a few.
The next day I mentioned to Shani that I’d figured out why Jack was making that list.
“The boys showed me,” she replied. “I think those videos are awful.”
And when Shani thinks it’s awful, it’s a pretty good indicator that the boys and I are going to think they’re a riot. See Shani, I told you there was nothing to worry about.
Get your toast out with a fork
Do your own electrical work
Teach yourself how to fly
Eat a two week old unrefrigerated pie
NuckolBall 
unpleasant ways to die, a funny book … maybe a little old for the boys.
Would Shani think it was awful?
Overly worried and overly calm. That sums up the whole situation.