12th and Final Play of Christmas (thank God)

 

Fa-La-La

Empty living room. “Deck the Halls” plays. As we reach the first “fa-la-la”, SHANI, MIKE, JACK, and ALEX all pop up from behind the couch and sing horribly.

FAMILY
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Empty kitchen. Family pops out over the counters.

FAMILY
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Empty master bedroom. Family pops out from behind the bed.

FAMILY
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

Empty dining room. Family pops out from behind the doorway.

FAMILY
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

 

END SCENE. END OF PROJECT.

 

 

12 Plays of Christmas (11 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

 

PEPPER

MIKE, SHANI, ALEX, JACK are eating soup at the dinner table.

MIKE
(picking up the new holiday pepper shaker)
These things are USELESS.

ALEX
They are not. I like them.

MIKE
They don’t give you pepper.

JACK
Yes they do.

MIKE
OK, let’s race. Go.

Jack starts to pepper his soup. Mike gets up, goes to the kitchen, gets a container of pepper, returns and peppers his soup. He does this before Jack is done peppering his own soup.

MIKE
Useless! HA!

SHANI
(she has never looked up from her meal the entire time)
You’re ridiculous.

Alex takes Mike’s roll and spikes it in Mike’s soup.

ALEX
Bad Daddy!

 

END SCENE

12 Plays of Christmas (9 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

 

Snuggle

SHANI is in the kitchen on the phone. ALEX enters.

ALEX
Snuggle?

SHANI
We’ve got good momentum for the SMART initiative and
I think we’re going to get into Moorestown school for it.

Alex tries to cling to her leg. Shani shoos him away.

Scene shifts to the living room. MIKE is watching a show on his phone. ALEX enters.

ALEX
Snuggle?

MIKE
Alex, I’m watching a show that’s not appropriate for you.

ALEX
Sons of Anarchy?

MIKE
Yeah – they just beat the crap out of a bunch of white supremacists. It was awesome.

Alex leaves.

Scene shifts to upstairs hallway. Alex opens Jack’s door.

ALEX
Snuggle?

JACK
Get out of my room!

Scene shifts to Alex’s room. Alex dumps all his stuffed animals onto the bed. He buries himself in it all.

ALEX
Snuggle.

END…WAIT

SHANI, MIKE, and JACK all rush into the room and jump onto Alex.

SHANI, MIKE, JACK
JAMS* SNUGGLE!

END SCENE.

*”JAMS” snuggle is our cutesy/annoying term for a snuggle involving our entire family. It stands for Jack, Alex, Mike, Shani.

 

12 Plays of Christmas (8 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

Laundry

SHANI is in the living room reading.

JACK
(off stage)
MOM! I need socks!

SHANI
I just did laundry.

JACK
I can’t find any socks.

SHANI
I don’t know how you go through clean laundry so fast.

Scene shifts to JACK’S ROOM.

NARRATOR (played by Alex)
We flash back to the previous afternoon.

JACK announces an imaginary basketball game where he is the hero of the game. As he does so, he takes clean laundry as the ball and stuffs it into the hamper as if it is the hoop.

JACK
And Jack Nuckols cuts left, right, shoots…it’s good! AHHHH!
Lebron moves through the defense. Bounce pass to Nuckols…
Oh my! Staggering dunk!

 

END SCENE

12 Plays of Christmas (7 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

Cropduster

MIKE sits on the couch. SHANI enters and keeps moving.

SHANI
I had the craziest day. Did you get my text?
I needed to redo the lists from admissions yet again…

She is out of the room and still talking. 

NEW LOCATION

JACK is playing Xbox in the basement. SHANI enters and keeps moving.

SHANI
Jack, I need you to try on your wrestling shoes today.
If they don’t fit we need to go to Dicks this weekend and make sure…

She is out of the room and still talking. 

NEW LOCATION

ALEX is doing homework in the kitchen. SHANI enters and keeps moving.

SHANI
Alex, did you get that form signed today? Oh, and you have carpool pickup
at 5:30, so you’re going to need to eat. Oh, and your towel is…

She is out of the room and still talking. 

 

END SCENE.

 

 

12 Plays of Christmas (6 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

Voldemort

SHANI and MIKE are on the couch reading the newspaper.

SHANI
Did you see…

MIKE
Don’t say it. I can’t.

They read more.

MIKE
Oh my gosh. This says that he’s…

SHANI
Stop. I can’t hear it.

They read more.

SHANI
He’s…

MIKE
Don’t say it.

They read more.

SHANI
(not ironically)
I’m so happy we started getting the paper again.

MIKE
Me too.

SHANI
Is your coffee empty?

MIKE
Oh yeah it is.

They read more. Mike sighs and takes both cups to refill them. Shani laughs.

 

END SCENE.

 

The 12 Plays of Christmas (5 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

Truth Machine

ALEX speaks to the audience.

ALEX
Today, I am the Truth Machine. After you say something,
you look at me and say what you really wanted to say.

MIKE and SHANI are in bed. MIKE turns out his light to go to sleep.

SHANI
Is the front door locked?

MIKE
Yes.

SHANI
Are you sure?

MIKE
I specifically remember locking it.

MIKE rolls over and is face-to-face with ALEX.

MIKE
I have no clue if the door is locked. I’m making that up so she leaves me alone and lets me go to sleep.

New location: Jack’s bedroom. JACK is in bed.

JACK (yelling)
Dad? I have a pain right near my shoulder blade.

MIKE (offstage)
Go to bed!

JACK (yelling)
It really hurts!

MIKE (offstage)
Why is the only time you need medical attention is when it’s bedtime?

JACK rolls over. He is face-to-face with ALEX.

JACK
It does kind of hurt, but really I just don’t want to go to bed quite yet.
(Pause)
Do you think he’ll come up?

ALEX
No.

JACK
(turns and closes his eyes)
Good night, Truth Machine.

 

END SCENE

 

 

The 12 Plays of Christmas (4 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

 

Smell?

ALEX and MIKE are on the couch watching The Flash. They are both snuggled together and transfixed.

SHANI enters through the front door.

SHANI
I’m home! Do you guys smell a food smell in here?

MIKE AND ALEX (not looking up)
No.

SHANI crosses and exits for the kitchen. Pause a beat. She returns.

SHANI
I just went to the grocery store yesterday. Did you guys eat all the grapes?

MIKE AND ALEX (not looking up)
Yes.

Pause another beat as she stares at them. They stay fixed on the screen. SHANI leaves.

 

END SCENE.

The 12 Plays of Christmas (3 of 12)

Introducing…the 12 Plays of Christmas. Over the next 12 days, I will write 12 one-act plays that illustrate life in the Nuckols home. Additionally, we will perform these plays for you and put them up on the site.

 

Drink?

MIKE and SHANI sit on the couch. Both are on their phones.

MIKE
Hey, would you…

SHANI
Hang on.

Shani needs to finish what she’s doing on her phone. Mike nods and goes back to his phone.

SHANI
Oh, I forgot…

MIKE
Just one sec.

Now Mike is finishing something on his phone. Shani nods and goes back to her phone.

SHANI
What do you think about a glass of wine?

MIKE
That sounds good.

Mike looks up at her. She is still on her phone. He stares at her and waits. She stares up at him, then goes back to her phone.

MIKE
Ok…

He gets up.

MIKE
Red or white?

SHANI
Red please.

 

END SCENE.

IMG_3510.JPG