Alex’s sophomore year of college is over soon, and he’s trying to find something exciting to do over the summer. He’s applied to a ton of scientific research internships at various universities, but those tend to be reserved for college juniors. He’s applied to a bunch of jobs at National Parks, but those require that you stay through September.

And I’m super supportive of the efforts he’s making. I don’t have a lot of regrets in my life (I’ve made infinity mistakes – not the same thing). But I regret that I lived at home all three of my summers during college. It was the sensible choice, but it was also the safe choice. I never had the balls to just go for it, go somewhere cool, and try to make it work.

I was talking to my friend Chief (who also spent his college summers at home in Vestal). He summed up those summers at home pretty nicely: 

“I think of that time as pretty lame. Mostly I just worked. And after work we’d spend an hour and a half at Blockbuster picking out a movie, go over to somebody’s house, and fall asleep watching it.”

I had a job as a cook at the Vestal Hills Country Club. My typical hours were 2:00 to 10:00 every day except Monday and Wednesday. I mostly remember going out to the dumpster, looking up at the sky, and hoping it would rain so all the golfers would go home and they would close the kitchen early.

I remember one night we all went over to Jamie Cooper’s place. He was a guy we were friendly with in high school. He had a barn out back and we all climbed up to an unfinished loft. Jamie had a bunch of warm beers and we sat up there on the plywood floor. In high school, when we weren’t allowed to drink, a hidden loft and warm beers would have been awesome. But now that we were in college, it just seemed lame. I made an excuse and left pretty early.

But…as I reflect on those “lame” summers, and about my life now, and there are some considerations worth noting.

1. I learned how to work during those summers. 

That was the first time I had a full time job. And working those shitty, messy jobs were important preparation for later in life. Because I’ll tell you, I’ve outworked a hell of a lot of people in my career. Advertising is a white-collar job, but there’s still a ton of tedious grunt work that other people bitched about while I dove in and got it done.

2. I got to spend time with my mom during those summers

It was different than in high school. Those summers she didn’t have to parent me and I didn’t really have to listen to her. It was more of a friendship. It was looser and more fun. So I’m glad for those summers with my mom. We were definitely closer because of that.

3 . I got to spend time with my brother

For most of high school my brother was a kid. But those summers we were equals. We both had cars and money to go do stuff. Hell, he worked at the Country Club with me too, so that was a blast. I consider my brother one of my best friends and I partially credit those summers for that friendship.

4 . I spent the summer with my friends from high school 

We may remember those summers as lame, but we did reconnect as friends each year. We had grown from high school kids into pseudo-adults, and that’s a different type of friendship. So maybe we wouldn’t all be as close as we are now if it weren’t for those “lame” summers.

5. I learned how to write

The summer after my sophomore year, I wrote a play. It took me the entire summer and it was endlessly stressful. And in the end, the play was awful. However…I wrote a damn play. 

Then the next summer I wrote another play. Also incredibly stressful.

I learned about the part of writing that starts after the rush of inspiration ends. I learned how to put my head down and keep going one uncertain step after another. Plus the second play was much better than the first one. 

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Hmm. That was a wild and unexpected journey. 

It leads me to two closing thoughts.

1. Maybe it’s not so bad if Alex ends up stuck at home this summer.
2. The idea of spending a few hours sipping warm beers up in a plywood loft with those old friends – my my my – that sounds like heaven. 

OK…if you know of any summer opportunities for Alex, give me a shout. Thanks.