At the recent Pirates game, my son Jack did NOT purchase a Pirates hat because the only ones they had for kids had curved brims. See below.

He and his friends will only wear hats with flat brims.

This drives me absolutely crazy. When I get a new baseball hat, first order of business is to bend the rim into a nice curve. This weekend Jack took his Yankees hat, tried to bend the rim so it was flat, and eventually decided not to wear a hat.

In truth, flat brimmed hats make me think of Dontrelle Willis in the 2003 World Series where the Marlins beat my Yankees. I knew nothing about the Marlins, but all of the sudden here came this guy wearing his hat all wrong, throwing the ball with a motion like Spiderman dodging lasers in mid air, and it had the Yanks entirely flabbergasted. I was frantically yelling at the TV: “Who…who…who the hell is THAT guy?!”

I didn’t like that and I don’t like flat-brimmed hats.