This morning’s breakfast conversation:

Jack: You know, I’m leading the league in stolen bases.

Me: You’re what?

Jack: I’m either first or second in stolen bases.

Me: How do you know that? Do they track that?

Jack: I keep track in my head. That’s what I do on my team.

Me: Steal bases?

Jack: I draw walks, get on base, and then steal bases.

Me: You draw walks because you don’t swing.

Jack then swaggered out of the kitchen, proud of his imaginary accomplishment. He went upstairs to watch the MLB recaps on the iPad (Jack does this every morning).

So here’s where I see this coming from. Last night Jack had a game and again failed to get a hit. In fact, he had 2 at-bats and didn’t swing the bat even once. He struck out and then walked. Once on base, he stole second, third, then home. (Mind you, this is what happens to virtually every kid who reaches first base.)

Also worth noting, as of last night there were 4 kids on Jack’s team who had not gotten a hit. Two of them got hits last night. Those hits were critical to a comeback that almost won them the game (as was Jack’s walk).

So in Jack’s little brain, he’s inventing this role for himself to put a positive spin on the fact that he’s not swinging the bat. And I’m not sure what to do. Do I let him live this fantasy? If I do I am helping ensure that he will never swing the bat and consequently never get a hit. Wait…here are two alternative ways this morning’s conversation could have gone:

Alternate 1: Supportive version

Jack: You know, I’m leading the league in stolen bases.

Me: You are? That’s amazing!

Jack: I’m either first or second in stolen bases.

Me: Does the league give out an award for that?

Jack: They don’t really track it. But I track it in my head.

Me: You sure stole some bases last night. Your team almost won the game because of you.

Jack: I draw walks, get on base, and then steal bases.

Me: They should have drafted you in the first round. WOW! Shani, Jack just left the room so fast I didn’t even notice he was gone.

Hmm…that’s a little over-the-top. How about this?

Alternate 2: Challenging version

Jack: You know, I’m leading the league in stolen bases.

Me: You’re what?

Jack: I’m either first or second in stolen bases.

Me: They don’t track that. They barely track who wins.

Jack: They don’t really track it. But I track it in my head.

Me: Bullshit. What about all the games the other teams play? You’re not there to see who steals. Besides, if you want to lead the league in stolen bases you should stop striking out twice a game.

Jack: I draw walks, get on base, and then steal bases.

Me: You draw walks because you never swing the damn bat. Hell, you’re probably leading the league in bats left on shoulders.

Jack: I’m going to watch recaps.

Me: Hold it! You are not! You’re cut off from the iPad until you get a hit.

What do you think? Did I play it right? I want him to get a hit so badly – everyone does. You should have heard the cheers for the two kids who finally got hits last night. It was awesome.

Anyhow, after watching recaps, Jack grabbed his glove and went outside. Here’s a photo. Notice there are no other kids; he’s out there at 7:45 am in the midst of an imaginary game.

I wonder if he’s hitting in his imaginary league?