Warning: this is a cranky post.
This weekend I drove by something that invariably drive me nuts: a lemonade stand. See photo:
Now, if you find lemonade stands wholesome and cute. If you think they are great ways to teach kids about work ethic and money, let me ask you a few questions.
- Did the kids pay for the lemonade they are selling: No.
- Did they make it themselves: No.
- Did they carry that table to the curb: No.
- Did they carry the lemonade to the curb: No.
- Did they make a sign: Yes.
- Will lots of cars stop and tell them to just keep the change: Yes.
- Will their parents tell them how proud they are that they worked so hard: Yes.
- Did I feel super creepy pulling over to snap this picture: Yes.
Next stop, at the intersection near my house they have put up cones for a fundraiser for the junior high swim team. See photo:
This type of fundraiser is common around where I live. They take a corner and ask for donations as you drive through the intersection.
Some questions:
- Do I think swim club is a worthy cause: Yes
- Does it stop up traffic: Yes.
- Were there any junior high kids collecting money: No.
- Was it their parents standing out there: Yes.
- Is this the lamest, weakest, most effortless, creativity-free fundraiser imaginable: Yes
- Is this actually just panhandling: Yes.
- Did I give them any money: Hell no. Not a goddam dime.
Final question:
- At the age of 42 have I become a cranky old man: Apparently, yes.
NuckolBall 
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