Perfect Home Fries (Recipe 2 of 3)

Note: This post is part of the Donna G Project. This is written to and for my boys.

I have a bucket list that I created when I was 22. I’ve maintained it and I’ve crossed off a bunch of items on there. One of those items I had accomplished is “Make the Perfect Home Fries.”

Here is the recipe. (Note – it takes a long time.)


  • 6 potatoes (doesn’t matter what kind)
  • 2 vidalia onions (has to be Vidalia)
  • 1 jalepeno pepper
  • Crapload of garlic
  • Butter (lots)
  • Seasoned-salt
  • Pepper
  • Paprika
  • Garlic salt

Step 1: Dice the onions, pepper, garlic and separate them into 3 even piles.

Step 2: Cut the potatoes into “sticks and stones” – this is honestly the key to the whole thing. This is the secret. Half the potatoes should be cut into thin strips about an inch long and the width of a wooden match. (sticks). Half the potatoes should be cut into cubes that are about a square centimeter (stones). Note: this process takes forever.

Step 3: Get a big fry pan and put in a solid wunk of butter. When it gets hot, put in 1 pile of your onion/pepper/garlic, douse it with the spices, and fry it up good.

Step 4: Put in another wunk of butter and throw in your potatoes. Now you’re in for the long haul. You’re gonna stand there for a solid 45 minutes stirring and turning the potatoes. Keep in medium-high heat. Keep chucking in butter and spices. It’s a process.

Step 5: After about 30 minutes, throw in pile #2 of your onion/pepper/garlic mix. Keep frying and cooking.

Step 6: When they’re ready the potatoes will be a solid mix of crispy and mushy. Now throw in the last pile of onion/pepper/garlic. Cook another 2-3 minutes, stirring the whole time.

Serve those mothers up. They’re awesome with any breakfast food – eggs, bacon, pancakes – it doesn’t matter what you serve ’em with. They’re perfect.

(Note — this is not an actual photo of my home fries. This an image off the web and the home fries are imperfect.)


One thought on “Perfect Home Fries (Recipe 2 of 3)

  1. Yummers, Mike! I get such a kick out of your humor. Love the idea of sticks n’ stones. Your Mom remembrance made me cry and wish I had gotten to know her. I’ve shared it with several friends. Nancy Lee

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