I think I’m in a new phase of life. Actually, I think I’ve been in this phase for a while now and hadn’t realized it until now.

I’ve got a boy in the basement. Wait — that is 100% wrong. I’ve got a young man in the basement. Shani and I have a housemate.

Jack graduated college and has moved back in with us. And to maximize privacy and autonomy, we set him up in the basement. It is very different than when he lived with us in high school or when he was here during college breaks.

There’s actually a lot to unpack.

We’re not raising him anymore. The power dynamic is…tenuous? Delicate? Complicated?

As a parent there is a natural authority that’s hard to move away from. It’s like if I suddenly tried to be roommates with the person who was my boss for 20 years. The habits and patterns of the parent-child dynamic are deeply ingrained. I don’t want to use or even have it, but it’s still right there.

He’s a good housemate. He cleans the dishes that he dirties. He follows the “rules” (although we don’t have many).

He’s got a great job. He goes to work. He’s succeeding there. We’ve got nothing to do with that. He’s got that locked in, which is a a big deal.

He has a terrific social life. Basically, all the kids from his elementary school are living here (a whole network of young men in basements), and they have a great time together. They go to bars. They play basketball. They gather to watch football at each other’s houses (or rather each other’s parent’s houses?).

He has a girlfriend and spends a few nights a week at her place.

And as I write all of this it occurs to me that I haven’t really embraced the situation. I’ve kind of held it in suspension, like it’s a temporary thing. And in doing that, I’m not really making the most of it — which is a mistake.

In all seriousness, Jack is one of my favorite people in the world. And he’s one of my best friends. And he lives with me. I get to see him every day.

So let’s make the most of this right?

OK. I guess that’s the plan.

Here he is in the awesome track suit they gave all the teachers at his school.