Here are the official rules for the relatively constant game of stickball being played in front of my house.
1. The game is played with a tennis ball and a wiffleball bat
- The wiffleball bat should be wrapped in duct tape or electrical tape
- The more tape the better
2. The pitch is delivered with one bounce to the batter
3. There are 2 outs in an inning
4. The game will continue to be played regardless of any rain
- This includes torrential rain
- In the case of torrential rain, players on the batting team can huddle on my porch
- If for some reason you decide to have a rain delay and come into my house to play video games expect me to yell at you to take off your shoes and dry your hair
- The game will continue until it is so dark you literally cannot see the ball
5. Acceptable reasons to try and pitch another inning, even though you promised that another kid could pitch
- You will let them pitch next inning
- Their best hitters are up and you need your best pitcher and that is you
- The game is close and you need your best pitcher and that is you
- You have a no-hitter going
6. If you hit it past the car it is an automatic home run
- If one of the kids’ dads comes out and hits a TITANIC shot that actually hits the car, expect that dad to gloat, sing victory songs, and throw his hands up in joyful celebration as he rounds the bases
- If the ball bounces off the car and into the air, and some rotten neighborhood kid catches the ball in the air off the bounce that dad is not only out but will also look like a complete and utter loser
- Expect that rotten neighborhood kid to never be allowed back into my house to play video games during a rain delay and he’s certainly not getting a snack even if he says please
2 thoughts on “StickBall – Official Rules”
That Dad from down the street seems like a loo-hoo-hoooser.
Michael, we are enjoying your blog. Your kids sound great! And I congratulate you on this stickball report, that you actually used the term “duct tape.” I have heard too many people
call it Duck Tape.