When we road trip, we do “rock blocks” which means each of us can pick 4 songs off of Spotify. I went with the Allman brothers and then Jack was on his second song (Ganghan Style).
At this point we are stuck on the Schuylkill Expressway. To get to Pittsburgh we had to go through Philly. And to get through Philly you have to go on the Schuylkill. The Schuylkill is awful. Worst road in the country, I think. It is 100% unavoidable for anyone passing through a major city of millions and has nothing close to the capacity it needs. As we inched along I wanted to get out and punch every other driver in the mouth, then find the city planners for Philly and punch them in the mouth.
The boys were not happy either. Alex was dancing in a way that annoyed Jack and Jack hit him. So I immediately cut Jack’s rock block off at 2 songs which sent Jack into a fit that eventually ended with him sobbing on the Schuylkill. A grim start to our glorious road trip.
But we recovered. We played “Would You Rather” and that got Jack out of him funk.
“Would you rather eat a bowl of cow poop or sleep on a wood floor for a year?”
“Would you rather shower with a smelly old man or take a bath with a smelly old lady?”
“Would you rather sleep in kitty litter or rotten, chewed-up hay?”
And then we were off. Through the tolls and onto 76 and moving across the state. It was a gorgeous day. There were barns and hills. Spring was just starting and the grass and trees had that bright green that was like fuzz. That route takes you over the Allegheny Mountains and even through some tunnels through mountain names that are fun to say out loud: Tuscarora, Kittatinny, Allegheny. We hit Subway for dinner and then we were coming out of the mountains and the sun was setting right in front of us for at least an hour. My ears were popping non stop. We kicked off another rock block. Jack put in Flo Rida (worlds dumbest rapper name) and the boys were dancing so wildly that the entire car bounced back and forth.
We got to the hotel at 9:30 and the boys followed standard procedure: bounce on the beds. They were pretending they were Jedis and Jack had the remote control as a lightsaber, so every few minutes the TV would kick on and confuse all three of us.
Once the beds were bounced to bits, they put on bathing suits and ran for the pool. We have a pattern here too. The boys swim in the pool for a while, jumping and splashing. Then they decide to go to the hot tub and giggle at how hot it is. Then finally they start going back and forth, out of the hot tub and diving into the pool, which feels freezing, so they wriggle out of the water and back into the hot tub.
At 11:00 we got to bed.
NuckolBall 